So I’ve been watching Bodhi, my two year old.  He is magnificently filled with so much life.  He not only is growing fast, but absorbing everything and learning at an accelerated rate too.  He is getting to be himself - a little bundle of personality.  He is beginning to believe his dream.  I love it.  But sometimes I look at him and realize he came from nothing. 

A sperm on its own is unable to create.  An egg by itself cannot produce Life.  Each depends on the other to merge and unify and begin the process of Creation. But really from nothing comes something.  And how much does that something develop into a person, a personality?  I see that with Bo - he is becoming a personality.  It is beautiful to watch this process, but I also wonder at what point does the personality take on a life of its own?  When does it just find its place in the world?  Or does it need to continuously seek attention, constantly reinventing itself?  When can talent or looks be enough?  Or do we as mere mortals project our yearnings onto our “stars”, those “exceptional beings” and ask more of them to satisfy our own longings?

I mean all of us originally came from nothing.  Are any of us greater or more talented or prettier or smarter than anyone else?  Sure if you believe that.  But that doesn’t change the fact that we all came forth from Life and eventually in death, return to Life.

And that my dear friend makes us all the same.

No?

Long live the King of Pop.  Long live our favorite Angel.  But please don’t forget where we all came from…

J

The women who appeared on the call were amazing (even if we don’t see ourselves in this light). We represented a wide range of experiences and held so much desire to both mother authentically and continue to discover our own path of caring for and nurturing our own dreams and purpose in life.

We had mamas of 5 month olds and mamas with 5 children, single moms and married moms. There were first time mamas and grandmammas - not to mention mamas of twins, toddlers, and teens (some of both little ones and grown adults). Our children were awake and babbling in the background, nursing, sleeping soundly, or out on their own with friends. Some of us have chosen to be stay at home moms, some of us work full time, and some of us go ½ and ½. Many of us are teachers, self-employed entrepreneurs, or a combo of both. We shared a love of dancing, yoga, and being outdoors. We are a diverse group and yet there was an instant unity amongst us.

As we shared our intent for ourselves and the group, I was struck by the themes that were echoed by all. We desire: a community of support and respect for whatever choices we make, time for ourselves to refill and rejuvenate, a sense of balance between mothering and expressing ourselves creatively or professionally, and ways to be more mindful of how we nurture our children. We spoke of feeling overwhelmed, feeling judged (or judging ourselves), feeling alone or without a strong support network. And despite its challenges, all of us seemed to share an overwhelming love of our children and of being a mom.

As we slipped into our meditation for the evening, we connected with our heart’s desire. We turned our attention inward to listen to the messages that came from our heart. These messages usually come in the form of a feeling or image. Sometimes it appears as what we do not want. And when we listen to the frustration or sadness or overwhelm, we can see beyond and underneath these emotions. These “uncomfortable” emotions are sending a flare from our inner knowingness, our intuition, our wise woman within to make an adjustment within our thoughts or actions that will better support ourselves and our dreams.

As we spoke what we most craved for our lives right now, I could feel how each of us touched and tasted the emotional quality we most wanted during our time in silence. And I know if we felt it even for a few moments together, then we can continue to find ways to manifest the qualities such as focus or connection to higher self or being more present throughout the next days and month even in the midst of our full lives.

My heart called for a clarity, certainty, and “knowingness” of how I wish to express myself in the outer world. I am so grateful that I have already found one way to do so and it is in the midst of a group of women who I am honored and delighted to spend time with. What joy!

Our group will remain open for the next few months for any woman who wishes to join. So with a very full heart I send this invitation out along with my many thanks for what has already appeared. Our next call is hosted by Meghan McChesney Gilroy of Life Mastery Programs on Wednesday, July 22^nd from 8-9PM EST. Call 218-486-1600 and enter access code 920454.Please RSVP to Meghan@lifemasteryprograms.com

Most of us don’t have a Harry - who’s been dealing with an ongoing illness that has yet to be diagnosed - but we certainly have our own set of challenges. And how often, as parents, have you felt the same?

Rebecca and I were finishing cleaning up from dinner. Our kids - ranging from 2 to 10 - were outside with our husbands. This meant there were 4 bikes careening around the corners of their house, one hyper dog joining in on the fun, and my toddler attempting to drive a toy tractor up a berm that also served as jump for the mountain bikes. Get the picture?

We drifted outside. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jamie (my husband) wheel around the side of the house, slide on the wet sidewalk and skid across the ground. He jumped up, checked to make sure he hadn’t torn his favorite shirt, and after assuring everyone he was fine, began chasing Bodhi.

Looking back, I see I made an instantaneous assessment of the situation just as I do when Bodhi falls down: if he gets up and runs off he’s fine. If he comes over to me crying, then we kiss the booboo and assess if anything else needs to be attended to.

A few minutes later, Jamie showed me (and Bodhi and everyone else) that his hand was bleeding. He and Rebecca went inside to get a band-aid and clean him up. Again, I thought little of this as Jamie has fallen off his bike thousands of times, including once off a 30′ cliff. (Yes, for real, check out his blog… obviously and thankfully he survived!) This was pretty minor in the scheme of things.

Yet when we were preparing to leave, I made a comment to the effect of, “My philosophy is if you take on the risk of mountain biking (which Jamie does regularly) and hurt yourself, you’ll get no sympathy from me.” Well the hooting began. Rebecca said, ‘Uh-oh! Someone’s Mommy Well is dry!”

As tempting as it is, I won’t try to justify my rationale on the mountain biking policy. Yet it did make me question, “Had I been kind, caring, and compassionate to Jamie when he hurt himself?” Underneath it all, I know I “read” the situation right. Jamie was just fine. But I could feel the lack of concern within myself toward Jamie go beyond knowing he was fine. I just didn’t have it in me to extend myself more than I had to him. And that didn’t feel like the loving and conscious relationship that I had signed up for.

Luckily we had scheduled a 24-hour Get out of Town/Child Free pass for me. I drove our MiniCooper up to Portsmouth, NH. Portsmouth is a very cool and artsy town, with a great downtown to stroll its shops, sit in the main square, or grab a bite to eat. I’d like to say that’s what I did. The truth was, I checked into a Courtyard (thanks Rose!) and spent the next 24 hours sleeping, reading a GREAT book (The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by our friend Katherine Howe), soaking in the hot tub, ordering room service, and watching a chic flick. It was heavenly and just what I needed.

When I came home on Sunday, Bodhi came flying up to hug me. I caught a glimpse of Jamie disappearing inside as soon as he knew I was with Bodhi. Once I caught up with him, I could feel his energy. As much as he loved spending time with Bo, he seemed a little battered. His energy was drawn inward. He was focused on taking care of his to do list instead of interacting with me.

I saw myself in him and realized that this is often how I am when he comes home. Yet with my Mommy Well replenished, I was able to extend myself to him. We quickly reconnected and were back to our more loving and mindful selves.

Seeing Jamie’s state of being gave me more compassion for myself (and everyone else who has children and full life.) And it served as another validation on how important it is to keep the Mommy Well full - not just for myself, but for my relationship with my husband, my child, and everyone around me.

So how do you know when your Mommy Well has run dry?

What do you do to keep your Mommy Well from dropping to dangerously low levels?

And how do you replenish?

Imagine having a business that lets you focus on what you really enjoy and all the other aspects are handled for you. If you enjoy working with your clients, but don’t like marketing and getting new clients, imagine that a system exists that automatically and always brings to you your ideal clients.

Imagine being so energized and magnetized that the perfect opportunities and resources flow to you and that your business really works for you - versus that you really work for your business.

A new MasterMind TeleClass series is forming - Energize Your Business! and we are offering 2 free introductory teleclasses for you to see if this will be a good fit for you. To get a flavor for some of the topics and teachings in this program, go to the following blog about The Four Agreements in the Workplace

The free introductory teleclasses are July 9th and July 23rd at 8:00 p.m. eastern time. The conference number to dial in is: 1-518-825-1300 and the pin code is: 750287

To learn more about the Energize Your Business! 90-day Intensive MasterMind TeleClass series, click here now

For more information about the free calls or the MasterMind series, you can email kevin@earthandlight.com or call Kevin Murray at 203.410.8150

Click here for the program flyer

For more information please email kevin@earthandlight.com or call Kevin Murray at 203.410.8150

I started to think, if I’m going to die, how do I want to go? I thought about my wife and children, and wondered if I could leave some part of me with them, in an act of will, at the moment right before I died.

Well, as you may have guessed, I did not die. I came home. I went back to work. Life continued.

But I looked for some meaning in this experience. What I finally landed on was: even more GRATITUDE.

So as I enjoy the day with my family and my brain, I invite you all to look for a couple more places to shine your gratitude. We can be grateful for things and situations. Or we can simply be grateful to be alive. I am today.

Thanks and Happy Brainiversary!

Kevin

Barry has long had a desire to share the experience and wisdom gained over a life-time of spiritual seeking. Over the last five years, as he immersed himself in the Toltec philosophy, and learned the simple yet very difficult techniques to regaining his authenticity, this urge to serve has grown. His approach is common sense and loving, combining meditation, readings, lecture and discussion. His intent is to create an atmosphere where each individual can actually feel their connection to “All That Is”.

The meetings are held in ‘Center’, a building that has recently been dedicated as a place where serious seekers of Truth can gather. Barry has worked to create a safe space for spiritual work and practice and the unfolding of a sense of community.

In addition to the wisdom group, Barry co-facilitates Spiritual Journeys to Mexico, Peru and Egypt. He is also currently accepting students for private sessions.

Barry lives in Altamont, NY, with the love of his life, his wife of 37 years, Beverly. They share their 11 acres and mountain views with their dog and cat and countless other creatures.

The dates for the Wisdom Group meetings in July are:

July 11, 2009 @ 10:00am

July 18, 2009 @ 10:00am

Contact Information:

Barry Schwartzbach, Altamont, NY                                                                                                                                                                       

e-mail: barry@lifemasteryprograms.com

phone: 518-577-9411

J: Of course it doesn’t. What happens in real life? Someone gets cancer and dies. Someone rejects you because your thighs are too big, your nose is too short. It’s all these expectations and judgments. We’ve been conditioned to see that it’s the goal, it’s the end game. It’s what does it look like after the romance. How many people say, “Oh yeah, romance is great but now we are married? Oh, I am married with children. Driver carries no cash, his wife has it all.” You know there are all these little things that support the belief that the romance at some point ends. Everyone wants a fairy tale ending but doesn’t believe it. Or people say, “Oh, that’s just a Hollywood ending. That’s Hollywood. It’s make believe.” Well, guess what? Your whole life is make believe. Why wouldn’t you make believe it in that way? I am with my beloved. Each second that I am with her is like a pit full of honey, dripping over each of our bodies. Rose petals falling from the sky. Moonlit walks. Tenderness that is so unbelievably excruciating in its tenderness. Is that make believe? Some people may say so. For me, it’s my life. That’s how I live my life. And that’s how I plan to live my life to the very last moment. And that romance is not with something outside of me. It’s with Life itself. It’s not focused just on my wife or my sons or my dog or my friends who agree with me. It’s focused on the entire thing that’s called LIFE. That thing that is coursing through everyone of us, moving through every tree, every plant. Every animal on this planet is alive in that way and it’s romance. It is romance. So say whatever you want to say. Say it’s not possible. That it ends after you get married. It ends after you have children. It ends after you get divorced. It ends with the angry client, the estranged sibling, the disappointed boss, the shitty economy and your vanishing wealth, your family of origin, the other side of the tracks you grew up in, the color of your skin. No. It never ends. And I’m here to tell you that. Ever. Unless you say it does. Unless you no longer want to live a romantic life. Don’t you see we choose. No one does that for us. Sure we all have valid reasons for being miserable, for being so unhappy. The litany of reasons is both long and varied. But when do we say, “I want this now before I die.” What if we really understood how unbelievably short our time here is? Wouldn’t we spend every possible second seeking out the honey like a little bear cub? Some of you in the audience are most certainly wondering if this doesn’t sound like some ecstasy fueled fantasy. That I must certainly get angry, yell at the kids, wake up grumpy, have my bad days. Absolutely. But what I also do is remember what the ecstasy feels like and seek to go back there. What being out of Romance with Life feels like. Let me tell you this. It feels like crap. And the more I’m in that romantic place the better I get at getting myself back there when I fall of the horse. Sure it happens. So what? What are you going to judge me for taking myself out of the honey pit? Do you judge yourself? What if for once you didn’t? What would happen? Would the big ol’ Wizard of Oz be exposed? An old man pulling levers behind a façade? Nothing there substantial at all? The honey of Romance is what’s substantial my friends. I have no doubt whatsoever. Now where is your doubt? Where is your faith?

Close your eyes for a moment and just imagine the exhilarating feeling of loving yourself and everything outside of you so much that your whole being is shimmering and light. What about it? What are we waiting for…?

M: (sigh)

END.

Enjoy the sweetness.

Love to you all,
J

J: Do you see how romance is everywhere in life? Unless you are just are a hardened person, or a criminal, or someone who has been so abused by the dream of the planet that they are cynical. We aren’t looking for cynics. Ok, so they’re cynics. Go enjoy it, have fun with it. I am looking for the romantics of the world. Closet romantics. Those people who dream of their beloved coming to them and taking an orchid and stroking their entire body with that flower. Wearing a light cotton kimono, a Japanese robe on a hot summer night and feeling the thrill of their lover as they untie the knot that holds it together. And slowly that kimono falls and parts. And it’s like mystery. It’s like looking up at a starry night in the middle of summer and the mystery of life. Don’t you see that? And in the parting of that kimono and the touch of his hand on her hip. Romance. Right there. And anyone can have it! Large, small, white, black, fat, ugly, gorgeous. It doesn’t matter. Romance is not a physicality. Romance is an inner quality. And it’s how you look at it. Everything is romantic. Everything. The walk in the morning. The dog walk in the morning and the smell of the ocean and the caw of the seagull and the light breeze blowing your hair and you feel like life is making love to you. What could be more romantic than that?

M: But how do you teach that to someone?

J: You teach it by showing examples. How do you learn anything in this life? 2 + 2 = 4. How do you learn that? They show you. They give you an example. They write the number 2 and the plus sign and the next 2, the equal sign and the 4. There is great romance in this world. Shakespeare has written some of the most romantic sonnets. Things that will blow your mind. There are books - The Bridges of Madison County - people scoffed at it. Why? Because they are cynical. They don’t believe in romance. I cried. I bawled my eyes out like Richard Simmons when I read that book. Poetry. There is great poetry. Poetry that a book called These luminous Things and there are poems in there from around the country. Rumi. Have you ever read Rumi? I grow moist when I read Rumi.

M: You’re supposed to go hard.

J: I grow hard when I read Rumi. Listen there all these great movies. Don Juan Demarco. Watch that over. You teach people the basic thing that you are going to teach people has nothing to do with romance and has everything to do with them. Who’s going to give you the opportunity to be romantic? Am I going to wait for you to be romantic with me? No. I’m going to be romantic with every aspect of my life. Brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, when I look in the mirror I don’t judge what I see. I love what I see. That’s where the romance begins. So. You have to start with people and their beliefs about themselves. It does come back to that. But you don’t linger there. You don’t spend tons of time. You say, “Look it’s your choice.” You want to feel differently about yourself, then just try it. Humor me in the next two days during the workshop, I want you to just put it on like a mask if you have to and wear and believe in it. Don’t have any doubts and don’t worry about what happens when the seminar is over and you go back to your life. Just be right here, right now in this moment and take my hand and I will lead you on the most romantic journey of your life. Are you ready?

M: I’ll sign up!

J: And this is how you do it. And it’s like a virus this romance, think about it. If it spreads, think about the romance that will be going on all around the world. People are having romance with their pets, with their parents, with their friends, with their co-workers. Every moment for each person is a romance and it’s not what you think it looks like. It’s not always someone coming and saving you, for women, or the knight on the white horse, chivalrous, and strong. It’s not going to look like how you think it’s going to look. But I guarantee you with the eyes of the romantic, everything is romantic in this world. Everything. Standing on the stoop with someone that you are so attracted too. You’ve just gone on a beautiful date and you’ve had an amazing meal, great conversation, had a bottle of wine, and you just feel like you are full. Full of love, full of romance. And you walk her to the door and you take her right to the front door and there is that beautiful moment where you are pausing, she’s pausing. And you’re not wondering, “Do I kiss her?” You’re thinking, “This is such a beautiful moment. I want this moment to last forever.” And suddenly you feel each of your bodies leaning towards one another. Your lips reaching for the other’s lips and you kiss and that first kiss is remarkable. It’s like fireworks are going off. That can happen over and over again. I’m here to tell you it happens over and over again. And that’s all. You say good night then. It doesn’t have to go any farther. You stood in the moonlight on a cold fall night saying goodnight to this person you spent 4-5 hours with. And you give the gentlest, the tenderest of kisses. And your lips touch and they melt together and then they come apart. And in that coming apart is like when you take a spoonful of honey and that last little strand of honey goes into your tea cup. Do you see? That’s enough. You don’t have to go upstairs. You don’t have to rip your clothes off. All you have to do is see the romance in that moment. And that carries the next time you talk to that person. The excitement. The giddiness. The childlike energy that you are feeling in your body is beautiful. That’s romance.

And I’ll tell you that we do diminish romance once we have obtained what we think our goal is. This is the key. We always think that the goal is to possess the other person, to have the other person, to have certainty that they want to be with us forever, that we want to be with them forever. They’re the one. We’re the one. Their in-laws are nice. My parents are nice. It’s ridiculous. That’s not the goal. The goal is to keep that moment, that kiss where you separate and the honey, the strands of honey between your two lips are pulling apart gently. That moment and I’m here to tell you this, that moment is pure romance, I’ve experienced it and I know it to be true. For me, it’s true. That moment can exist permanently between two people

M: But some people would say that that doesn’t sound like real life.

TO BE CONTINUED… Romance - Part Two

Love,

J

The title of this blog was actually said to me by my guru at the time, Sonam T. Kazi.  Or “Mr. Kazi” as the majority of his students or Sangha called him.  (Sangha: group of followers of a particular teacher and belief system).  The exception was a handful of “senior” students who had been with him since his arrival in the United States in the late seventies.  They called him Sonam.  Anyhow, I had been studying with Mr. Kazi for quite some time.  Being a good carpenter and a faithful student I would spend almost every weekend of the year working on his property in upstate New York.  After one particularly extensive project was completed he took me aside and smiling said, “I promise you’ll be enlightened in this life”.  I was stunned by this comment.  Having all of my faith (ok, Faith) wrapped up in the Dzogchen practice of Tibetan Buddhism, and all of my time and energy and beliefs also invested in this path that comment certainly got my attention.  Here was my guru (ok, Guru) who we all (the Sangha) believed was the Buddha himself telling me, a humble carpenter, that I was going to reach that penultimate goal in this very lifetime.  Wow!  My mind in those days was still a mess of superstition, drama, limiting beliefs, and fear.  Sure, I had glimpses of clarity but I was about as close to reaching enlightenment as I was to playing a round of golf on the moon.  (Ed. Note: I hate golf.)

I was also very familiar with the trials and tribulations of millions of worthy (certainly even worthier than myself) seekers willing to wait for the next life or if not then, ten lifetimes in the future before being fortunate enough to accrue enough good karma to reach their final attainment.  How could it be that I was to be singled out for this wonderful attribute?  And how could another human being even guarantee such a thing?

“You have to do everything your guru tells you only as it pertains to your spiritual practice.”

What I discovered was there was quite a bit of belief wrapped up in that little dumpling of a blessing I received that day.  And more than a garnishing of self importance.  (Ed. Note: I have noticed the amount of self importance in oneself is about equal to the amount of insecurity in oneself).  I certainly was operating under the assumption that this person, my guru, knew what was best for me, and knew the most expeditious way to the top of the mountain.  In giving away all of my faith to him (Faith) I was also giving away my discrimination.  The argument here goes like this: if your teacher is the Buddha himself, then what place do I as a mere seeker have for discrimination?  Isn’t that what got me in trouble (see: lifetimes of suffering) in the first place?  So in giving up my ability to make choices based in “how does it feel” and relying on “what should I do in the name of Realization” I followed post haste on the instructions given me.  Not all of those directions were just based on my spiritual practice.  Some were clearly mundane, physical and from my point of view then however, they were all designed to release my attachments to how I thought things should be.  In retrospect I’m not so sure.  Looking back on it now I felt like a leaf in a swift river.

Is this confusing?  Maybe so.  But it’s like this: I handed the keys to another human being and said, “you drive my life”.  That was my choice since no one held a gun to my head.  But I also saw how dependent we all became to letting someone else direct our movie.  Certainly at the time I did not recognize that much of my compliance was based in fear; the fear of going against the Dharma, disobeying the Guru, letting down the Sangha, but in retrospect it was.  Could another person really bring us to that ultimate destination?  And what was that place really?

I came to see as the years went by that there are many teachers, guides, angels, lamas, gurus, yogis, friends, pets, ex-wives, and children who have SO much to show and teach us.  But they cannot manifest Happiness inside of us.  Yes, they can point the way.  They can describe the view.  They can inspire us to climb even higher.  They can mop our brow and dry our tears and wipe the snot from our nose.  They can hold us like our mother did.  They can motivate us like our father did.  They can break our hearts when we glimpse their humanity.  They can show us enlightenment is in fact still chopping wood and still carrying water.  Still cleaning a shitty diaper.  Still making poor choices.  Still stumbling and yet still dusting our sorry selves off and climbing onward.  And maybe we learn along the way to be able to let the mind go and merge with our own Heart, the Infinite.

I look back on the ten years I tried my best to be a good chela (student).  I see my teacher in a whole new light now 20 years removed from his feet.  I look back on it all as one looks at the progress of a child learning to walk - a mixture of gratitude and wonder that they did and a feeling of I’m glad that’s over with. 

Now I know how to walk.  Am I enlightened as promised? 

Hey, can anyone hear that sound of one hand clapping I keep hearing?

What?

J