Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category
Dear Santa
By Meghan McChesney Gilroy
- Thursday, November 13th, 2008
This blog was inspired by Associate Teacher Michele Laub’s upcoming Rediscover Your Family and Friends This Holiday Season Teleclass.
Dear Santa,
We are so grateful for our family, for being alive, and for all we have. This year has been full of challenges for so many on the planet. In the spirit of remembering what’s important, we propose (with your kind approval, of course) to celebrate anew:
- To remember that the biggest gift is our time and energy. So we gather with friends and family to enjoy each other’s company.
- When giving gifts, to do so from inspiration - whether it’s writing a sweet note, buying a gift that would touch the heart of the giver and receiver, or making something by hand. We have so much that we don’t need to add much more to the pile! (On that note, we vote to forgo making lists of what we want understanding that if inspiration doesn’t strike the buyer, then we may not receive a gift at all.)
- To remember others. There are so many people who could use a helping hand right now so let’s give. Pick a worthy cause and give as much as you can, or make a donation in the name of a friend or family member as their gift. It’s a way to give twice!
- To remember the joy of Christmas through a child’s eyes. Let’s make it magical for the wee ones - decorating trees, cooking together, playing with boxes, unwrapping a gift that fosters their creativity and imagination. And to receive our joy from giving our time, love, and attention to them. That means more than any present.
The holiday time can be one of stress, when we feel the pressure of sending cards, getting to the mall, paying for the purchases, and squeezing in too much activity. Or, it can be one of pleasure and peace, of giving and receiving from the heart. Let’s choose the latter.
All in favor?
With love,
The Gilroys
Crunch Time
By Jamie Gilroy
- Thursday, April 17th, 2008
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”**
This quote has been like an old friend since I came across it. Someone who’s there to listen and offer a clear reflection, not judgment. Whenever I read this wisdom I feel better and back on track.
These past few days I feel like I’ve been trying to shine but have been running into a wall over and over again and smashing my headlight in the process. My head hurts from doing so. It’s an Aries thing so says Meg. Anyway I’ve been trying so hard to be that light, to shine in my interactions with my world. It’s been a struggle to not react to the situations that have been showing up in my life recently. It is mostly work related (ok all work related) but it is so hard to peel off the work veneer when I am running my own business and it consumes so much of my energy. Thank god for Bodhi. For a few minutes at lunch or at dinner I can connect with his world and his light and it’s truly freeing.
And even in the tremendous stress of the past week (ok months) there have been moments that have surprised me. Having a chance encounter with a client that our relationship ended badly (money owed/work incomplete with lawyers involved). Seeing him with his young son at the lumberyard and shaking his hand while agreeing that we wished things had gone differently and feeling no animosity at all. That was the light. Or having a client meeting with a couple who questioned a subcontractor’s bill and things had gotten very tense for the past month. In the meeting I was amazed at the level of honesty and responsibility that was communicated. I couldn’t help but feel encouraged by humanity through these encounters.
And yet it was the humanity within me that moved me most. The old me in the past would have harbored the “need to be right” or pent up anger and a sense of injustice. It’s so easy to be relaxed and confident when things are going well, when the economy is humming along and fear around money is less prevalent. What amazed me was the light that shined through those interactions reflected a place in me where I too can let go of anger or fear or judgment. Where I too can be powerful and not flee from that power. It’s like the power of a small child playing with their world with complete abandon and being totally present.
What I’ve been missing while ramming my head repeatedly into hard objects was the opportunity that exists in each moment. To let go of what happened an hour ago, or what will happen next week. To be present in each moment, in a way that feels good to me. To keep choosing to be in that light of the authenticity of who I really am. Of whom we all are. Right now’s the time, don’t you agree?
It’s crunch time.
Thanks for reading.
Getting that headlight repaired,
J
** This quote has been attributed to various people so I’d like to say thank you to whoever did first say it.
Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad
By Jamie Gilroy
- Friday, April 11th, 2008
(The Story of How I Play With Drama Daily)
Ok maybe this is unrelated to what I’m writing about today but I gotta get it out! Michael Johns getting voted off Idol? You gotta be kidding me! That kid had some pipes. He was a rocker and seemed cut out to sing for a living. I figured it would come down to David Cook and him. I’m mildly disgusted that Kristy is so obviously milking the Christian vote. (I love Christians don’t get me wrong, I just don’t believe in milking them). Anyway.
For those of you who don’t really know me let me briefly introduce myself. I have spent most of my life seeking happiness. Wandering through a maze of beliefs, techniques, experiments, and with some plain old pure dumb luck I have found myself in a pretty awesome state of happiness. Without getting sidetracked about what the hell that means let’s just assume it means I’m happy most of the time. Except when I’m not.
One key component to my happiness (and one of my definitions of happiness) is the absence of drama. After so many years of creating internal drama with myself I learned how not to (#1). After so many years of creating drama with my significant others I learned how not to (#2). (If you would like to know how that happened I can tell you - email me). I want my entire life to be a reflection of how I’m feeling inside. That means I’d like to feel good as much as possible (no I am not Hedonist, I don’t think…). It really becomes fairly simple when we no longer choose drama as a way of life. So let me recap: I am happy inside and don’t create internal drama anymore. My relationship with Meghan and Nick is free of drama. (Bodhi however can still get me frustrated occasionally when I’m in the middle of an especially poopy diaper change and he starts twisting like a baby crocodile - but I don’t count that as serious drama). So what’s the problem you ask?
Well I have another life (#3). Yup, I’m leading a double life here - don’t tell me. My lovely drama free life ends the minute I leave the house and get into my truck. Mr. Happy becomes Joe Contractor. Now if any of you dear readers have ever hired a contractor to work on your house then you almost certainly have a story of some dramatic (maybe life altering) event because of the contractors ineptitude. Here are some classic examples:
- the company you hired fell off the planet for months on end, never to be seen after the demo of your perfectly good home
- someone hit a pipe with a nail installing trim. It doesn’t start leaking for 6 months
- the project took 2 years (supposed to be 3 months)
- the project cost 3 times what it was supposed to
- the plumbing subcontractors somehow put the clients Monet in the van too
- one of the carpenters is having sex with the clients underage daughter
- counting the entire roofing crew of 10, you might be able to assemble a full set of teeth
- the general contractor is only around to collect money, usually at 9:45pm on a Sunday
You get the picture. I could blog about the horrors of home renovation until I’m blogged and blue in the face. My point is the minute I leave home I encounter drama. Actually it’s more like this - D R A M A!!!! It can’t be helped. I try my best to avoid it, steer clear of it, or even run from it. The problem is I can’t. I can (as the old adage advises) run but not hide. Each time I encounter the drama I go back inside myself and see how invested I get with it and why it affects me so much. Is it the money I’m owed? Is it the need for acceptance, the need to be liked? Is it an old story of failure lurking in the shadows? Or is it just the fact of dealing with a world at large that loves drama? What can I do to play in this gladiator arena but not get eaten? These are my daily challenges when I’m not in the relative safety of my office blogging away blissfully or at home with Meg & Bodhi. I have gotten much better at not being so hooked by all of the issues that I face each day. I strive to communicate better. I attempt to do what I say I’ll do. I try to orchestrate and execute my projects so they promote good feelings. I try to minimize the impact on my clients home. I try to bring all my happiness to the projects I do and sometimes it’s like pissing in the wind. And you know the best part about that? Instead of blaming the wind I just turn around and piss with it. You know, I really want to be happy all of the time. What’s so wrong with that? Are my clients or the world “out there” responsible for my happiness? No, but I often think I’m responsible for theirs and in many ways I am. Do the job right, on time, for what we agreed it would cost. That’s easy no? Not always. If they want to keep playing with drama who am I to stop them? Maybe that’s just the way it is. And maybe just maybe I’ll get 3 out of 3 one of these days.
For now, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. I’m working on it. Hey, anyone need a house renovated?
In Love, Light, and sawdust.
J
Are YOU Happy?
By Meghan McChesney Gilroy
- Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Many, many years ago my spiritual teacher asked me, “Are you happy sweetheart?” He was known for lecturing on happiness as your birthright, happiness as your purpose in life; he wasn’t known for asking casual questions. And he had a habit of focusing his intense and bottomless black eyes on you while you floundered for an appropriate answer. This wasn’t a question to be taken lightly. My mind began to whirl. Did he mean happy in this moment? Happy with every last aspect of my life? I busily weighed all the pros and cons of the current state of my personal, professional, familial, and spiritual lives. Good, good, bad, just okay. Or did he mean happy as in having a big smile on my face at all times?”Well?” he asked, “Are you happy my love?”
Finally, I stammered, “Yes?… No…. Hmmm. I don’t know.”
For several months he would periodically ask the same question: “Are you happy?” Such a seemingly simple question, but it pierced my nighttime dreams and haunted me throughout the day. I desperately wanted to be happy, especially since this seemed to be the point of his teachings and my studying, and yet the idea of being bubbly or putting on a fake smile didn’t resonate with me.
Eventually the question faded from my mind. Then years later a student asked me if I was happy. The question sent a jolt through my system. Without thinking, and with genuine joy in my heart, I answered “Yes, I am happy.” My response surprised myself until I considered it further. After years of personal growth work, my understanding of what happiness is had deepened, softened, mellowed. I no longer associated happiness with smiling all the time. I had learned to look below the surface of any question, to go beyond my interpretation of a concept like happiness. I had translated the question into a more meaningful query for me.
Yes, I felt happy as in content, authentic, and balanced. This sensation permeated through every part of my life. It was, and is, solid and lasting. My mood may fluctuate slightly on a daily basis, but in my heart I am content. I am living the life I’ve dreamt about even though it looks nothing like I envisioned.
That day my student pressed me further, strangely mimicking my wise, old teacher. “Really? You are happy all the time?”
I smiled at her and replied in an echo of the man who originally led me on my quest for authentic happiness, “Yes. And without a doubt, one day you will be too.”
So my question to you is, “Are you happy?” Please post a comment!
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