Jamie Gilroy
Heaven on Earth
- August 28, 2008
“Heaven on earth means you are absolutely delighted with your life just the way it is. You aren’t trying to fix yourself, manifest more money, a better job or a bigger house. You find the sacred right here and right now. That is also where you connect with the creative energy that wants to express in your life. Abundance comes as we learn to trust the Creative source inside us. We can’t do that when we are busy finding fault with our lives.”
Paul Ferrini
I love this quote. It totally captures the feeling I want to live my life by. It grounds me to the present moment, opens a channel for gratitude, and invites unlimited possibility into my life.
Tapping into what Paul terms the “Creative Source” I can appreciate everything I experience throughout my day without judgment. So many times my mind will have a strong opinion about what happens during the day to day events. When I connect to this quote I can literally feel a feeling of openness and harmony with everything I’m experiencing.
To me that is Heaven on Earth, right here, right now. And wow, do I appreciate being able to say that and live by that. And maybe I can share that as I interact with my world.
A laugh, a smile, a gesture of kindness. If not now, when?
See you in Heaven.
J
Teach an old dog a new trick
- August 21, 2008
I know, I know, again with the disappearing act. My sincere apologies. I have no excuse except that the words and inspiration have their own timeframe. Anyway.
I’ve been thinking about the ability to change. To change when things just aren’t going well, or when aspects of our creation (see: Life) no longer feel good either physically, emotionally, or even socially (see: Globally).
How is it that we live our lives so smartly and assuredly and then reach a point when we look up from our day and say, “huh?” “Where did the time go?” Or as David Byrne sings, “how did I get here…?” Or “who am I?” Ok, deep questions for so early in the day but isn’t it just like that? How do we become the catalyst for our own evolution? Or in my case how do you teach an old dog a new trick?
Can’t be done you say? I beg to differ. This old dog awoke one day and saw for a brief moment that I had literally created all the circumstances in my life - including the ones that were at that time bringing me much suffering. In a flash that will always be remembered I looked at my hands and saw that they held the power to create. Create anything. Really? Yes absolutely.
Create a new life, a new relationship, a new business model, a new awareness, and a new sense of responsibility. And all stemming from the inside, on a cellular level. Not running off to the barber, or the Gap, or the gym, though those changes are fine if you want to. But more of: how do I want to feel each moment (good) and how do I achieve that immediately? How do I stop making decisions that adversely affect the quality of my life and make new ones that inspire me to feel harmonious and content?
Just a warning: old dogs can certainly put up a fight while learning new tricks. I think that’s normal. But if that old dog has the desire (THE DESIRE!) to learn a new trick then that’s 90% of the battle. In my case I peeled off any layer that felt constricting and uncomfortable. I tried to get down to what was real in me, to make friends with whatever happened in the past, and be present for whatever was happening in the moment. It was not an overnight transition but one that took nurturing and care. One that took a little patience.
Teach the dog something new, and then give him a little reward - a biscuit maybe - to let him know he’s going in the right direction.
I recently read an interview with Jeff Swartz the CEO of Timberland (September issue of Fast Company magazine). What a fascinating guy. All about bringing social awareness to every aspect of his very large company. At the end of the interview he speaks about looking at the creative power in our own hands and the recognition that that power IS in our hands. I love that sense of responsibility now. That unlimited possibility in the openness of our very own hands.
An “old” friend who lives out west left me a VM late last night on my cell phone. I could hear the emotion in his voice as he spoke about some difficult changes going on in his life. As I listened to his message this morning the word opportunity kept popping up in my mind. I can’t wait to talk to him later today.
I love seeing an old graying dog learn a new trick or two.
Woof.
J
Oh Eight, Oh Eight, Oh Eight
- August 08, 2008
First of all many, many thanks to those of you who supported my ride to benefit The Jimmy Fund last weekend. It was an amazing, inspiring, and moving experience. Plus I had a blast riding my bicycle across eastern Massachusetts. That was easy compared to some people’s stories of survival and loss. So thank you!
Today I’m told by those who know such things is a very auspicious day. Ok I’ll buy that. Even though it feels like any other normal day. I awoke. That’s a miracle right there. I talked to some of my employees, a couple of subs. Dealt with the usual client stuff. Had a chance to watch my youngest son do his breakfast show. Gave a kiss to my honey before she went off to baby swim class. So nothing extraordinary about the day so far.
Except this; in all the mundane routine that fills my day there is this gleam of magic. It has never happened quite like this before. This day I mean. There is a huge space right outside my office waiting to be filled. Sorry Mom but here’s that idea again: the unknown. But that’s it isn’t it? We walk out our door to our same experience but in reality every time we blink it’s something new we see. Or not.
Maybe the opportunity to see the perfection, the grace, the uniqueness that is our existence is lost on us as we plod through life. And so 08/08/08 becomes an opening, a reason to say “jeez this day is something special…” and go about appreciating all that we have.
Tomorrow is the 9th. I think the number 9 is auspicious. I think tomorrow will be quite a special day too.
Meanwhile I am going to enjoy this one like it’s never happened before. That to me is what it’s all about. Create it like never before.
Love ya kid-
J
PMC
- July 30, 2008
Apologies for the sporadic posts. I’ve been training for the Pan Mass Challenge, a 196 mile bicycle ride from Sturbridge to Provincetown, MA. That and working a lot make the time to write a challenge. Lame excuse I know but whatever…Syl you still listening? (I doubt it).
The PMC is a benefit for the Jimmy Fund raising money for cancer research. Visit their website (PMC.org) for more info. I’m still accepting sponsors if anyone is so inclined. Just type in my last name and you can donate online to a great cause.
My son Nick has been kind enough to get out on the road with me taking his turn pulling me around at a fast tempo. I marvel at his natural ability and fresh young legs. Maybe next year we’ll ride the PMC together.
So think of me and the other 5000+ riders making our way across Massachusetts this Saturday & Sunday. And if you have any pull with the weather gods, 70 degrees, sunny, low humidity would be fine. But you know what? It’s New England and it will be what it will be. I am still planning on having fun.
Catch you next week, if not sooner.
Peace,
J
The Heart of the Unknown
- July 25, 2008
Tonight I had the good fortune to be sitting in a room of aware people. It was a gathering that could have been from a thousand years ago. It was a room full of strangers whom I’ve known my whole life. It was the present looking into the future.
One of the phrases I heard that stuck with me from this night was “the heart of the unknown”. That phrase unlocked these words, these feelings inside of me that attempt to express the wonderment of playing in the unknown arena that I call LIFE.
Think about it for a minute: every moment of every day of every year of our life we are faced with the unknown. From the minute we arrive naked and crying to the last breath we inhale into what will be our final exhalation we have no idea what’s coming next. None. Zero. Not a clue whatsoever. I don’t care who you are or what you do or what strategy you employ to ensure you do know what’s next - you simply don’t know.
We can attempt to create a level of security around our existence and from my point of view if that helps us - cool. But don’t get hung up on trying to bring certainty to every aspect of being alive. It diminishes the magic. See, it’s like this.
I was walking home tonight and feeling the magnitude of every step, the freshness of putting one foot in front of the other without any idea of what might happen next during my walk. Sure I could say I would most likely make it home - but could I really be so sure of that? How do I ever know what’s next? And this is the total gift that is almost invisible to us as we strive to make our world known. This gift that is unfathomable and immense, so much so that our puny brain can’t grasp it! Therein lies the pure irony! What’s to grasp? What’s to fight against, to feel insecure about? To be afraid of? To hesitate being present with? To playing with the I am NOT! To shrink before the unbelievable Love that lives in the Unknown, that IS the Unknown! Isn’t that was God is? Krishna? Allah? Jesus? Buddha? What the sages and prophets and gurus and enlightened beings all have been teaching us? To merge and become ONE, to surrender and become victorious, to let go and BE?
What if in all the chaos and uncertainty that seems to be so prevalent right now in our world, what if we could say: “I don’t know” and by doing so know so completely. Know so securely that it’s all perfect. That with each breath we are doing our part. We are living in THIS moment. No other moment matters. And by taking the Unknown as a lover we become SO intimate with the essence of LIFE.
I look around and see the play. Humans running after assurance. It’s a fallacy.
And that’s totally OK. Sure by all means want it, and then know the Heart of the Unknown is so much more rewarding.
We only have today.
J
Doom & Gloom
- July 22, 2008
Wow, has it really been 2 weeks since my last post? My mom must think I’m dead even though she lives right around the corner from us and sees me frequently. She pretty much relies on my blog to know what’s up with me. Hi ma! Your boy’s alive & well.
So what’s with the gloom and doom headline? Well for starters there’s been this funky weather front stalled over New England making the skies dark and threatening and the humidity high. Rain, thunder, lightning as a looming presence. And people just seem to always talk about it. That’s one part of the G & D.
The other is the news. Both the kind you read and the kind you hear. The stock market is most enjoyable to observe. Watch the gossip, then watch the reaction. The economy, the fear, the wars, the up coming presidential race, the housing market, the doping in the Tour, the slumping Red Sox. Oh they won last night - cool.
Anyway, I’m not buying it. Any of it. And why would I? Do I need to feed off of the negativity? Do I need to create a place inside me that reflects the headlines or what people share with each other on the street? Definitely not. Do I need to throw a bone to the collective fear that’s running around a little planet?
Nope. And here’s why. It doesn’t feel good when I buy into the hype. Meaning like good inside my little human type of feeling good. So you’re dying to know how to achieve this blissful state?
Here’s a start: take some positive action. Walk your dog. Leave a Love note to your beloved (you, your honey, your dog, your kids, your boss, etc.). Go curl up on a couch with a book. Watch your favorite movie. Call an old friend and say “hey”. Take a 12 hour motorcycle ride and come home smiling and wet. See the freaking glass as half full. But most of all be so grateful that you are here in this moment in this time and you have a choice. A choice to participate in the game of woe. Or play in the game of creativity. That’s really entirely up to you. No one else.
Now is such an opportune time to be in creation mode. Creating something brand new and original inside yourself. Another Shiny Happy Person perhaps.
Or not. The Gloom and Doom is right there waiting…
Mind your attention.
J
Bird of Paradise
- July 08, 2008
Once upon a time there was a man who loved birds. Over the years the man had many birds, one after the other. He loved their beauty, and especially loved listening to their songs. He would very lovingly care for each bird as best he could, provide a wonderful cage for them to live in, good food to eat, and sweet water to drink. The man would love to come home after a day at work and talk to his beloved bird, and ask her to sing a lovely song for him. And each bird he kept would sing so perfectly because she loved the man so much. Yet each bird the man brought home eventually died, and not from old age. He would come home one day and the bird would be simply dead in its cage. The man was always very, very sad afterwards. He would mourn the loss for a long time, sometimes for a year or more before he would find another beautiful bird to keep. The last bird the man had was so beautiful and so special that he thought she was the best one yet. She died faster than any of the others though, and after this happened his heart seemed permanently broken. The birdcage stayed empty for a long time after that loss.
On this particular day the man was in a magnificent garden near his home that he loved to spend time in and experience life bursting all around him. He would go there often to sit and dream of the perfect bird and the perfect life together. He sat overlooking the ocean far below him, watching the dolphins play. He was surrounded by the most beautiful plants of many different colors and deep pools of water with the most amazing fish in them. The man loved coming here when his heart was filled with trouble, for by the time he left he always felt so much lighter. He was sitting on a bench in the sun feeling at peace; feeling a sense of serendipity. Suddenly a bird landed next to him on the bench and looked up at him. He had never seen such beauty. She was an iridescent black with the most unusual color under her wings - a vivid pink. She began to sing to him and his eyes welled up with tears as he knew his ears had never heard such sweetness before. His heart was singing now too. He had almost forgotten what that sounded like. The bird and the man sat together for a long time on that bench enveloped in the obvious love they had for one another. Finally the man took a chance and asked the bird if she would come home with him and live together. She said yes.
The man was happier than he had ever been before. For this bird he would make all the best preparations, take the most care, and make sure she was protected and safe. She would have everything she ever needed. He bought the biggest cage he could find, and filled it with all the things she loved. He would ensure this bird was happy and would never leave him. And it worked for a while. The bird would sing for the man in ways that would fill his heart with so much happiness and joy. The man was never more content. He would come home from work and talk to this incredible bird long into the night. He could feel how much she loved him. He had never felt love like this before. He had only dreamed that love like this existed. The man was at peace now, and cherished his life with this bird. For quite some time it was good like this.
Then one day he came home and noticed the bird didn’t sing upon his arrival. She seemed sad, and tired. He tried to fix whatever was wrong, making all the necessary improvements to her cage, talking to her more, spending more time together, and working less. But she seemed only to get worse as the days went by. She seemed to be dying. The man was frantic. He knew there was not another bird like this out there. He would ask her what was wrong and she would just gaze back at him with so much love. He could feel her slipping away. The man knew another heartbreak was coming. He knew this one would kill him. He didn’t know what to do. He loved this bird like life itself…
So that morning before going to work he did something in all his years of keeping birds he had never done before. He left the door to her cage open and his house open to the yard. He never had the courage to do that with the other birds - he was always afraid to lose them, and that they would leave him for good. As much as he loved each of them, he would never trust them to stay. The door to the cage was always closed. On this morning all that changed. As he opened the door to the cage he looked upon the love of his life for the last time. She was asleep. She seemed so peaceful. He whispered, “I love you and you are free now”. Then he left.
Later that afternoon when he returned home he was afraid to look in the cage. In his heart he knew it would be empty. It was. He felt an overwhelming sense of grief and sadness, but also a tiny sense of wonder and love there too. He poured himself a glass of lemonade and went out to his patio to sit and hope the sadness would pass quickly this time. Though somehow now he felt different inside. This wasn’t the usual heartbreak he’d felt in the past. First of all he knew she hadn’t died in her cage like the others - at least now she was free. And because of his tremendous love for that bird this thought made him happy. He knew he had loved her as best he could and that thought too made him relax. He let himself go now. He felt his life shifting in a big way. He could see the open cage inside his house and he began to cry, and cry, and cry, letting all his sorrow slip away with his tears. Then he fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
As he dreamt, he heard the most beautiful song serenading him. He slowly awoke and realized that she was there in front of him singing sweetly. His beloved. She looked so radiant and alive! She flew upwards singing like never before flying all around his garden so happily. Then she landed on his shoulder and whispered these words into his ear:
“I love you and you are free now…”
J
My Brother, My Muse
- July 07, 2008
My oldest brother and I play a game sometimes. He’ll shoot me an email with some poetry or an obscure passage from an old Chinese mystic. I’ll fire something back, and we’ll parry on like this for days. My brother suddenly becomes my muse…
See for yourself.
drifting
in
and out of
belief
about
what
Is
possible
two butterflies
dance past
on an invisible
stage
leaving me to
wonder
how
things
got just so
complicated.
J
The Antidote
- July 02, 2008
Guess what? No dreams of clients or projects. Wow! Maybe it’s because I left everything I had at my desk after working late last night to catch up on things like writing proposals and doing invoices. Thank gawd for Megs and all the help she recently provided to get my business caught up. No way I could do it all without her energy and assistance. Thanks baby. You da best.
If any of you dear readers run your own business you know what I’m talking about when I say it’s pretty much a 24/7 deal. I’m not bitching mind you, it’s just a ton of responsibility to have seven people I’m feeding while figuring out the best way to destroy someone’s house, put it back together nicely and for the amount of money I said it would cost. All while trying to line up more of the same. The trade offs make it worthwhile (don’t they?) yet my mind is pretty much thinking about my business most of the time. However just so you don’t think I need a really long vacation or jolt of 50,000 volts I do find ways to experience other things besides work.
Like seeing my youngest son Bodhi occasionally during my day (big trade off #1 - my office is next to our house and all of my work is very close by - I’m usually home for lunch). Or spending time with him during our nightly bath ritual. In those moments I connect to his world. And what a world he is becoming! Now that he is walking, almost running, the ante is upped. He’s learning words and is not afraid to repeat them all day long. Everything is new to Bodhi. Everything. And when I get an opportunity to connect with him even briefly it takes me back to the moment - currently fresh and alive and precious…
My other son Nick is coming home tomorrow from his year away in Italy. I can’t wait to see him. He hasn’t seen his little brother in over six months, which is like dog years when you’re talking about a baby. I’m excited to see the two of them interact and play. Nick is so great with kids and maybe he can share some of his beautiful wisdom and grace with his little bro. Or maybe he’ll just chase him around like the rest of us do.
I plan to play this coming holiday weekend. Play and relax and hang with my boyz. What could be better than that?
To me that’s the antidote to all this very serious work stuff.
Take a moment. That’s the remedy. One fine moment after another.
J
Dream Builder
- July 01, 2008
I guess this is my week to write about my life as a general contractor since it’s pretty much what I focus on every day. Yup, it’s my job. Last night I dreamt of another client. Just so you don’t think I’m crazed and obsessed I almost never dream of projects or clients. But maybe there’s a good reason I am. Let’s see.
In the dream I was walking with the client and looking at the work that we were supposed to complete and that someone else had been hired to finish. I wasn’t that impressed with the quality but the client seemed happy so I didn’t say anything negative. We walked together for awhile. I kept sensing he wanted me to approve of something - not just the work but maybe him or the process we went through. Actually I wasn’t entirely sure why I was there.
Now I am.
I really like the client I was dreaming of. He’s a good guy, a guy’s guy - someone I could relate to: a father, hard worker, trying to do his best in the world and take care of his family. The only problem is he fired me, or maybe I fired him. Our relationship went south and that rarely happens to me. I really try to treat people fairly, openly, and honestly and most 0f the time have a successful relationship with my clients. This particular client owes me a substantial amount of money. He had to hire someone else to finish his project after I left. The lawyers got involved (so far no resolution many months later) which in 26 years of being self employed I have never experiened. And yet amazingly I feel fine about it. I mean I wish it hadn’t ended the way it did. But it did.
This experience is an opportunity for me to see where I get hooked and if there is still some residue or sticky belief from the unsatisfying way this relationship ended. I can honestly say there was no animosity on my part in the dream (or on his side from what I could tell). For me it comes down to choice. How do I want to choose to feel? Is it worth getting stressed or angry over? Do I want to make the client wrong? Or myself wrong? Do I see my contribution to what the outcome was? Absolutely. Do I beat myself up over it? No way. Why would I? For me it comes down to respect. Respect for the emotions I will initially feel, respect for the way I want to eventually feel, respect for choosing to feel OK about a less than ideal outcome, and respect for how the other person feels.
Here’s the deal: I respect the way the client decides to feel about me. In the past that would eaten me alive knowing someone didn’t like me or thought I was incompetent, or wasn’t happy with me. I truly respect the way I am perceived by others and I’m not advocating apathy or carelessness in my relationships. The ways in which people choose to form opinions are vast and specific to their individual experiences. I learned awhile ago I can’t control that, nor do I want to. At that point for me it’s no longer personal.
My goal in doing this unique business of renovating people’s homes is to promote happiness and create beautiful work. I do have a responsibility to my clients and yet I am not responsible for their happiness. That was what used to hook me. Some people aren’t happy. Period. I will do my best to build a beautiful product. I will also do my best to ensure that the process is enjoyable and provide good communication. But sometimes things don’t go right. I wish that weren’t the case but it still happens on occasion. I try to learn from it, make the necessary adjustments and move on.
I want to be a dream builder. Forgive me if I don’t always get it right. But I love the learning curve and no longer resist it. I’m learning to see every interaction as an opportunity.
Even the ones that don’t end up well. In some ways those are the ones that inform the most…
See you out there in my dream.
» Comments (0)