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The Dance of Relationship

by Jamie Gilroy

“Relationship” is a buzz word these days. What is a relationship? How does one find a relationship? What does it take to maintain a relationship? Scan the shelves of any bookstore and you’ll find so many books on how to seek and find fulfilling relationships – with your loved one, with a boss, with a pet, your family & friends. Countless websites promise to assist in finding your true soul mate. Yet how many people do you know can say that they are truly happy in their relationships? Relationships are based in communication; the clearer the communication, the cleaner the relationship. Whether it is a working relationship or a romantic one, communication can alleviate so many misunderstandings.

So how do we communicate clearly? First, we need to know how we are feeling. That means checking into the bodily sensations we are experiencing. Just being present with those sensations and resisting the urge to qualify or judge them is the basis of awareness.

When interacting with others, ask yourself, “How am I feeling? Am I fearful? Exhilarated? Anxious? Angry?” These feelings dictate the emotional quality that you are experiencing and that emotional quality is the foundation of your expression. In a state of unawareness, this is called “projection.” Instead of communicating clearly, we project the emotion that we are feeling onto another in place of taking responsibility of how we are feeling and for the underlying source of this emotion.

What if you were committed to feeling really good inside? What if you created an emotional quality inside yourself that was based in unconditional love and respect? How would your relationship with yourself be? And if you had created a place of so much love inside yourself, how would you relate with those around you?

Imagine living in a place within yourself that has no judgment, no blame, no projecting. Imagine living in this place of total responsibility and commitment to happiness. This begins with your relationship to yourself. Then imagine that every interaction, every gesture, every word you express is based in love. Since you have embraced yourself completely, you now can embrace any relationship with another in the same way. Communication then becomes so much fun! You are clearly speaking your truth and can clearly experience another’s truth.

So how will you embrace each moment? As an opportunity to fully embody love and be authentic? As another chance to express yourself? This is true relationship. First with ourselves, then radiating outwards!

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