What is Mindful Parenting? (Part 2) Being in the Moment
By Meghan McChesney Gilroy
- Sunday, May 24th, 2009
How many times has a phrase escaped from your lips as you admonish your child that sounded just like your mom or dad?
How many times have I told you to stop? If you don’t stop your bickering, I am going to stop this car. For the last time…
Just like we try to be the best parents we can with what we know, our parents and childhood authority figures did the same. What amazes me about uttering a retort that was passed down to me, doesn’t have to do with what I am saying. What surprises me most is how quickly and automatically these childhood admonishments pop out – some of which I haven’t heard or thought about in years.
The reason we can recall the reprimands that we heard as a child so instantly is because our minds were programmed by our parents, as well as society around us. Like the code of a computer, our minds were programmed with beliefs: how we think the world should operate, what is right, wrong, good, or bad; what is safe or dangerous, polite or rude. Being conditioned was a necessary part of growing up. It helped keep us out of harm’s way and explained how to make sense of navigating the world.
Yet as adults, and especially as parents, relying on the information stored in our minds does not always help us accomplish what our heart desires for ourselves and our children (Read “What is Mindful Parenting? Part 1 Tapping into Your Heart’s Desire.“) Our mind relies on what it knows from the past or can project into the future. Yet our hearts are connected to deep-seated wisdom, found within our bodies in the form of intuition and emotion (and from my experience to life force itself).
Anytime I catch myself being caught up in my mind – it could be when I utter one of those reprimands, or when I realize I’ve hardly noticed Bodhi’s beaming smile as I’m mentally reviewing what projects I still need to get done – I challenge myself to come back to the present moment, to return to my heart. I stop and breathe. I pay attention to what is going on around me – the sound of Bodhi’s laughter, the smell of his freshly washed hair, the taste of the meal I am cooking for him, the feel of his hand tugging mine.
As I come back into my body, back into awareness, I feel myself embodying my heart’s desire: to be balanced, centered, connected, content. I become myself right now instead of some pre-programmed response from my past. I open to the infinite possibilities of this moment, this day, this child.
And I become grateful. Grateful for all the lessons my parents passed onto me, and grateful for all the wisdom I am mindfully passing on to my child. Won’t you join me in reconnecting to your heart and returning to the magical moment of now?
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