Archive for January, 2009
Creating Your Life From The Inside Out
By Michele Laub
- Saturday, January 31st, 2009
In the 1993 movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s character is destined to live the same day over and over again until he learns the most basic lesson of life—the only change that will ever be possible must happen from within. Each of us is like this character in our personal movie, creating our lives on autopilot as we live each day. Our choices are driven by our subconscious beliefs, which are alive under the surface as our driving force. The irony is that the driving force is based in the conditioning received early on from our family of origin, the time and place in which we live, and experiences from which make assumptions and draw conclusions.
We all embody three aspects of the human condition, which when aligned in harmony, energize our authentic self:
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The Conscious mind – the decision maker, logical thinker; whose primary job is to keep us safe. We are aware of this part of the mind.
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The Subconscious mind – the storehouse for our beliefs formed from early conditioning and interpretation connected to emotions. Like an iceberg, 90% of our make-up is stored here and we are not consciously aware of this part of the mind. This is the part that is generally running the show; it is the part that we will illuminate with awareness through our practices.
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The Supraconscious – the connection to all; often referred to as the spirit or higher self; This part has a better sense of the self’s ideal than the conscious mind does.
When these three aspects are in conflict, no matter how much we consciously focus on what we want, our desires elude us, happiness is fleeting, and like Bill Murray’s character, we are stuck in a rut destined to repeat the same actions over and over again, leading us to believe that life does not change.
When we decide to live in awareness, we realize that what our minds tell us is not necessarily the truth, and we can let go of beliefs formed when we were not aware, and create space for new beliefs and new ways of being, but this time with awareness, Now we have a clear mental canvass to create our lives in the present, as we quiet mental chatter and observe our actions.
We work with a mentor, attend workshops, read self-help books, and meditate, all with the goal of re-creating our lives with awareness. We then have the opportunity to construct new patterns, rituals, beliefs, and act from the point of awareness in the moment. The three aspects of our human condition are now in alignment, and our lives improve.
Are you willing to take a day and start changing your life?
Start by watching (stalking) your mind for an entire day.
Set a timer, and every thirty minutes STOP and stalk your mind.
Write down the words you are speaking to yourself.
You have just entered the realm of awareness.
Ground Hog Day Movie Homework
By Kevin Murray
- Saturday, January 31st, 2009
[To register for the Free Movie Chat Tele-conference call, using our Contact form, click here>contact form]
As I watched Ground Hog Day again, I saw the transformation of Phil as stages on a path of Awareness. As we are all on this same path, what can you see about Phil’s journey? How does that relate to your process? Can you identify different stages that Phil goes through? Have you gone through these? What are the key events, experiences, thoughts and emotions that trigger his shifts to new levels?
Please watch the movie with these questions in mind. We’ll schedule a tele-conference call after our return from Teotihuacan so we can enjoy each others’ responses to this. And,
HAPPY GROUND HOG DAY!
Your Gratitude CALL
By Michele Laub
- Friday, January 30th, 2009
When we are in a state of gratitude, we are placing an order for it, thereby spurring the creation of more. Gratitude is one of the highest vibrational energies of thought and feeling. The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best; therefore it will recieve the best. The more gratitude we feel and express, the more of what we want will manifest.
Join “Your Gratitude Call”
Monday through Friday
7AM US E.S.T.
218-486-3850
PIN 51601#
It Was Just One Of Those Days…
By Ellen Luksch
- Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
It was just one of those days…
This used to be one of the ways I talked to myself. It was the way my mind excused a day that was miserable from its of view. It was often the way my mind justified a day of being down on myself. Those down days usually started with some mishap (spilled coffee, lost keys, dead cell phone) and I can hear myself saying, “Here we go, it’s going to be one of those days!” And I was most often right because that’s what caught my attention… what was not going right. It was my self-fulfilling prophesy and there were more gloom and doom prophesies than those other kind. I forgive my mind. It has a notion of keeping me safe that includes keeping me “on track” and “hemmed in”. My mind simply learned to function from that point of view. It became my norm.
Every once in a while, I was graced with a great day. These days came when my mind felt that what happened met its expectations. The coffee stayed in the cup, the keys were on the hook and the phone was in the charger. It never hurt if someone offered a compliment and being “in love” conquered all bad days. I finally woke up and asked, “what is this?” (with a little help from “my friends”) Who has these expectations? Where do they come from? How many ways does my mind seek to justify self-abuse and self-doubt? (The answer was, “many ways”.)
So now, “it is what it is”. My interpretation is an option and I have the choice about the interpretation I choose. Yes, it is my choice. I choose acceptance. No matter what interpretation my mind creates, I choose the ones that serve self-love and self-acceptance. It is the only option. My mind may try to argue that I am not being realistic but I choose. Does this interpretation feel good? If no, then there are always other options. If they do not meet my mind’s expectations, “so what?”. There is only what feels aligned with my heart/my integrity or what is aligned with my fear/my comfort zone/my usual interpretation of reality.
What is reality? It is simply where I put my attention. Here or there makes all the difference in my feeling response. Why choose an interpretation that feeds the self-doubt? Because it is the standard model? I choose a new standard model. I retrain my interpretations to fit love. It takes patience and time but the rewards are numerous. The greatest reward is union with my integrity. It is the peaceful center I experience every time I choose love. It is an end to self-recrimination and second-guessing. It is the realization is that the only reality I create is the one that receives my attention and an interpretation that favors love, because I place my faith in that choice. So it is.
A Beautiful Walk Inside You
Through this blood veil the lover sees a beautiful walk.Reason says, There are only six directions, north, east, south, west, up, and down. There is no way out of those limits.
Love says, But I have many times escaped.
Reason comes to a marketplace and begins haggling prices. Love wanders away with other business to transact, something to do with incomparable beauty.
From Rumi: Bridge to the Soul translated by Coleman Barks
Extended Play
By Jamie Gilroy
- Monday, January 26th, 2009
Remember when we were in high school playing the best (and only) video game Pong and…oh wait a minute I just totally dated myself. No Gen X’er here. A Boomer for sure. Yikes! But regardless of how old I am, remember when you got enough points at whatever game you were playing to go into “extended play”? That part of the game where you were given another chance to keep playing, keep amassing more credits to continue on into Unchartered Territory. The excitement of going past the point you thought possible – opportunity to play some more like an unexpected gift. Well that’s how I live these days.
Just about 18 years ago I almost died. Out of all of my numerous near death experiences, this one felt like The End for sure. To make a very long story much shorter; I was on a mountain bike ride with two friends in Montclair New Jersey and the trail we were riding was along the edge of a cliff. I had ridden this trail a thousand times before but never in the direction we rode that day. The trail started at the base of a cliff and wound around to its highest point of maybe 60-70 feet off the ground. We started climbing parallel to the cliff and eventually the trail turned down to the right and towards the woods. Well I’m sure you know what happened next, correct? Yup. I didn’t go right but straight and I fell off the cliff on my bike. I wasn’t sure at what height I was going off at but was pretty positive it was high enough that I was going to die. In the eternity that it seemed like I had before launching over the precipice, I was in total denial about what was going to happen. I tried unsuccessfully to stop short of the edge (I remember thinking how odd it was my brakes didn’t work). At the last minute every ounce of adrenaline kicked in and I stretched out towards a small sapling at the top of the cliff hoping it would hold me. The next instant I was falling. Now everyone thinks you will get a millisecond review of your entire career from birth to that now unexpected death moment. For me everything went black and I felt myself totally relax. For some reason I was aware of the seconds passing as I fell. I hit the ground hard and opened my eyes to see my bike land next to me and continue bouncing down the rest of the slope. I tried to stand up but couldn’t and then fell back staring up at the gray sky. I was alive. At least I thought I was, or maybe I was dreaming I was alive. Maybe this is Death, I thought but why would my Yo Eddy Fat Chance mountain bike be with me in the afterlife? I pondered this until I heard my buddy Geoff minutes later screaming, “O my god, O MY GOD, HELP!!!!” Then I knew I was still here on Earth. What I didn’t know then but am fully aware of now is this: I got extended play in the Game of Life. I fell 35 feet (luckily for me only at the midpoint of the cliff), landed flat on my back and suffered a severed patella tendon (no idea how). That’s it. My bike suffered a flat rear tire and 3 weeks later I was riding the same bike with my right leg in a cast hanging off to one side as I pedaled around the yard lefty. Also, what I didn’t comprehend then and I definitely do now is that I got to do things differently this time around. It didn’t miraculously happen in one near death instant, but those things that I had been wishing for my whole life coalesced in a split second that rainy July afternoon. Let’s say the seed of those things I yearned for were planted that day and it has taken time for that seed (for me really) to grow into the life I yearned for. It has happened, and I am forever grateful for that day years ago. It woke me up.
I got to thinking about that day of my “second chance” after reading about the US Air flight that crash landed in the Hudson River. How beautiful a story! How totally miraculous that no one perished, and that even the relatively few injuries were minor. Those passengers and crew on that flight have been given extended play. I’m sure each person had the feeling that this is how they would die as the engines kicked out after take off. To die in a plane crash. Not many stories of grace and survival with regards to air travel. Yet they all survived. They were able to walk away. Now who knows how their minds will interpret that outcome. But when Death has been passed over for more Life the opportunity is enormous to make something more out of the time remaining. To see the gift in living on, to see the opportunity to make choices that serve those things that really matter. And that may look totally different for each person, but are no less important. As a survivor myself the only advice I might offer those passengers of the US Air flight is this: do away with the limiting beliefs of what it “should be” and live like you know what matters most to you. Life has added more time to the Game. Play with abandon and love and tremendous gratitude.
I’d like to add a caution here to those who have not survived a near death moment. Don’t go hucking yerself into harms way or take unnecessary risks (unless you’re an adrenaline junky) just to find out what’s important to you. It can be found by sitting quietly in your favorite chair. Or taking a walk in Nature. Use the endless opportunities available to each of us to evaluate what’s most precious to you and go live it.
Go on, go live your Dream. How sweet it is when you finally do…
J
Revolution
By Jamie Gilroy
- Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
“You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world…”
John Lennon
Ok, I need to insert a disclaimer here: I am not a very political person. Why? Simply because I feel like it’s biz as usual in Washington and it doesn’t really matter who is in office the machine keeps humming along. That said I’m all about transformation and growth and CHANGE. So yes I was glued to the TV for the better part of the day yesterday.
Did you feel the incredible energy generated by the inauguration? I felt like someone slipped me a dozen Red Bull’s with an espresso chaser. Watching Obama take oath and be truly presidential was captivating. Watching how he and Michelle and their family interacted, how real and natural they presented themselves filled me with hope. Hope that the time for a real revolution has come. Not the social revolution but the inner type where substance trumps superficial, where people roll up their sleeves in unison and say “let’s do this together”.
Please read Thomas Friedman’s Op Ed piece in today’s New York Times for a beautifully written piece on what’s next.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/21/opinion/21friedman.html
See you at the revolution.
J
Found Your True Love? Now What?
By Jamie Gilroy
- Monday, January 19th, 2009
So how’s the relationship going on after 6 years? I can honestly say it gets better every day. There’s a huge difference between what I’ve experienced with Meg and what my past relationship experiences have been. So what’s the difference?
Awareness.
One word. And that one word makes it special. Awareness of what? Awareness of all the limiting beliefs we have about Self, Love and Relationships. So if you know what you’re believing is keeping you miserable why keep believing it? WHY KEEP BELIEVING IT!!! OK, if you say so…
Listen. This isn’t about some miraculous colliding of two distant stars whose paths happen to cross at just the right moment. This is about two people who had the grace and fortitude and crazy luck to have experienced some really heart wrenching experiences and were able to grab hold of a lifeline and drag their sorry asses to shore. That shore being the ability to see what denying emotion does to a heart, that shore that allows feeling to be expressed without self judgment and condemnation, without prejudice. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and said “I love you.” Doesn’t it usually sound like a litany of what you see and don’t like? Too old, too fat, too ugly, too poor, to dumb, too plain, too unlovable? What in god’s name is served by that kind of self judgment?
Nothing. And so the finding your true love has absolutely nothing to do with looking outside yourself, and everything to do with saying to yourself – “damn dude, you’re the bomb”. Or “I am a mother-effin goddess”! Without conceit or arrogance, but just plain conviction of what is TRUE! We are perfect in our uniqueness and if we only knew that, really KNEW it then we would find someone to really play with in this life and be truly happy if that’s what we wanted. Drop all the insecurities and Life has room to move, to expand…
That’s what Meg and I do and it’s easier than riding a bike. Why would I project my insecurities onto Meg, why would I share poison with her, why would I create undo DRAMA with her? Why would I put MYSELF through that, let alone another person? I don’t. We don’t. That’s the Secret if you ask me. The SECRET is to use what is as available to us as air – AWARENESS.
It just takes a little practice. And the result can be as magical as the most poignant and unbelievable fairy tale. Yet it is real. Totally attainable.
The coolest thing is we have created a being out of this place of awareness (Bodhi Quinn Gilroy) and he is the reflection of so much of US together and yet is completely his own little monster.
Oh, try this: parenting with awareness. Good luck! Oh man is that a blast. Bodhi will find every loose stone inside you and send it careening down the mountain. Or not.
You see with awareness comes CHOICE. But that’s for another blog for another time…
Until then go find your true love. What are you waiting for? Go on. GO!
J
Find Your True Love Now – Part 2
By Jamie Gilroy
- Sunday, January 18th, 2009
It’s been snowing pretty much all day today. I shoveled earlier and just went out now to clear the walkways at our house and Junie’s driveway one more time before calling it a night. I couldn’t resist walking through the woods with Gorda before heading home. It was so beautiful – the snow covering all the branches, the trail deep and slow going. The further I walked the happier I became. What a gift to be able to have a few minutes in a winter wonderland with my dog. I came out of the woods and walked down a snowy empty street towards home feeling a sensation overwhelming my body. It was Love pouring out of me and releasing into the cold winter night. I was remembering six years ago when Meg & I had the very same vision sitting on a bench in southern California. Listen to this story. This is Part 2 of true Love…
I had planned to move back East after 9 months in Encinitas, California. I thought I would stay there forever, I was so happy. Unfortunately I was out of money and knew by returning East I could work in my old home town as soon as I got back. Meg & I had been friends but nothing approaching a romantic connection. Definitely a mutual attraction but a long shot for us to ever get together. For one I wasn’t really looking to be with anyone. I was enjoying raising Nick as a single parent and was coming to terms with some old stuff that was impeding my personal growth and was happy to be dealing with all that after so many years. I was OK with how things were – even that I was leaving SoCal. Anyway Meg and I had agreed to meet for breakfast a few days before the moving truck was to come and haul my life back to New England.
We met and went to breakfast and talked and talked like we had just resumed a long conversation. It was timeless. From there we went to one of my favorite places on this planet – Swami’s Garden at the Self Realization Fellowship. I mean this is literally the Garden of Eden. It is so beautiful it defies words. Go see it sometime, you’ll get what I mean. There is a bench that overlooks the ocean a few hundred feet below. Occasionally dolphins swim the break there. Usually there is a collection of surfers waiting for the perfect set. Meg had never been to this spot and I could tell she liked it. We sat on this little stone bench like an old couple, feet flat on the ground and our hands in our laps. We both closed our eyes and slipped into an altered state – a Dream if you will.
I don’t know how much time passed but a security guard came and asked us to leave because Meg somehow ended up straddling me and we were informed that was not appropriate behavior at the SRF garden. We apologized and left.
We then drove down to Moonlight Beach and parked my truck and sat staring out at the ocean. I said something like, “I had a really strange dream back there.” Meg said “me too”. I said, “what did you dream?” She said, “I dreamt we were getting married on top of the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacan Mexico”. I was blown away because I had the very same dream.
Later that day I asked Meg to marry me. To my utter amazement she said yes without hesitating.
I knew I had found my “fully shining woman” at last.
Tonight as I walked out of the snowy woods I felt like I had come to the place in my life where I was totally happy and content, yearning for nothing. That feeling was overwhelming and essentially indescribable….but it all comes back to that moment on a bench in a garden when Love and Life merged and something so powerful was born.
Tomorrow, Part 3.
Blessings for the New Year.
J
Find Your True Love Now – Part 1
By Jamie Gilroy
- Saturday, January 17th, 2009
I feel like writing about relationships right now – maybe it’s the approach of Valentines Day. Who knows but bear with me. These next few blogs will have a thread to them. Hang on. The woods are snowy and my mountain bike is dangling from the rafters. What else is there to write about besides?
I have been checking out my oldest son Nick’s blog (www.nickgilroy.com) and am in awe and amazement that he writes about finding the woman of his Dreams. He is so young and has yet to experience loves longing, or loves heartbreak. If I had my way he never would have to go through heartbreak like his old man did (multiple times mind you). If I had my way he would discover the brilliance of his soul mate his first time up to bat. He would find that “fully shining woman” in some serendipitous meeting, some chance encounter and fall totally and permanently in Love. Maybe it’s impossible, I don’t know. Maybe it will happen for Nick. God knows for me it took half my life to get it right. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve loved many women, even married a few, and felt that soul connection often throughout my life. But it wasn’t until I met Meghan that I knew completely and without a doubt I had found the “woman of my dreams”. Let me share a story. Nick figures very prominently in this fairy tale…
About nine years ago I was recovering from yet another round of heartbreak, and consequently raising Nick on my own. His best friend Speed was basically living with us and we were house sitting for some friends and totally living the boys life. I had started dating again and was on the lookout for someone to connect with, be in relationship with, and to help my broken heart mend. I know, bad strategy, but I’m a slow learner. Anyway one night Nick and Speed and I were sitting around the dinner table finishing up when my computer alerted me to an incoming email. I got up and went to my office in the next room and checked it. It was from this woman in NYC I planned to spend a weekend with. We had set it up that I would stay with her at her apartment on the upper East side. Well her email asked where I was going to stay during my visit. I couldn’t believe she was doing that at the last minute after inviting me to stay with her and I returned to the table mumbling about how fickle women can be. Nick (being sensitive to his Dad’s moods) asked what was wrong. I said something like, “I just don’t get women…”. The words that I’m about to write are exactly what came out of his 10 year old mouth.
“Dad it’s like this: you meet these women, and go out for awhile. Then you asked them to marry you. And it’s fine for awhile and then it doesn’t work out and then you get sad. Why not have fun and play around until you meet that fully shining women. Then you will know she is the one”. I was blown away and sat stunned for a minute. I looked over at Speed and his mouth was open too. Nick was just looking at me kinda like Yoda looked at Luke in the swamp. I jumped up from the table knocking over the chair and ran to my computer and wrote down what Nick said.
I didn’t really need to write it down though because I will never forget the seed he planted in my brain that day. And as I sit here writing this I am filled with wonder and awe because I am married to that “fully shining woman” and she is the mother of Bodhi, and a mother to Nick too. Tomorrow I write about meeting that woman when I least expected it. And in retrospect it was as if our lives were on a crash course – destined to come together and live like Love was all that mattered…
May all of you reading this have found, or may find, your true love now.
Peace. J
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