Archive for April, 2008
Don’t Follow Me I’m Lost
By Jamie Gilroy
- Thursday, April 10th, 2008
Don’t Follow Me I’m Lost
I love that bumper sticker. I saw it this morning on my way to a client meeting. You ever have those days when as soon as you wake up you’re feeling slightly behind and maybe a little tweaked internally? The day hasn’t even gotten started and the mind is trying to overload itself and short circuit.
I had one of those mornings. Throughout my morning rituals I was feeling tired, a little down mentally, and slightly judgmental about it. It was as if a tiny black cloud was following me, obscuring my ability to feel clear. I generally wake up ready to conquer the world like I forgot all about whatever went down yesterday. Yeah I’m one of those mildly obnoxious morning people that can totally grate on the non-morning ones.
Anyway, today I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling inside. Even during my client meeting I was unsure how I was coming across to this client while I was talking to them about renovating their kitchen. It felt like I was talking under water, or like the teacher in the Peanuts cartoons. Wah Wah Wah. Finally I gave up on trying. I was tired of following me. I started to ask the client about her business. Before I knew it she was happily telling me about the various endeavors she has going on. It was nice not to be the one leading the way. I started to feel a bit better.
An hour later I was at the Atomic Cafe getting a latte. Andrew was telling about a land development project he had heard about. The place was quiet at that moment so I leaned on the counter and just listened. He went on for a bit and I could feel that little dark cloud that had been my companion today going bye-bye. The noise my mind had been making all day was gradually tuning in to another human, following another story, and letting go of its story.
After lunch I was ready to take the lead again, ready to see the day, not be overwrought and blind to it. But you know maybe it’s best not to follow me anyway. Just in case.
In light, love and the occasional fog bank.
J
Have You Surrendered Today?
By Jamie Gilroy
- Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
Have You Surrendered Today?
This morning I was driving to visit my granite supplier. The road passes right along the ocean for most of the way there, and the sun was out and the air just a bit warmer than yesterday. I was in business mode, making calls and thinking about all the things I need to do for work today. To be honest I barely saw the waves breaking as I drove along the coastline. I did roll down the window after a few minutes to let the ocean air into the cab of my truck, but remained pretty preoccupied with other things.
After my appointment I made a few more calls as I drove back, still very disconnected to what was going on around me, literally right outside my window. As I came back into Marblehead I pulled over at Preston beach and got out of the truck. I walked to the sea wall that overlooks a long stretch of beach and stood at the edge feeling the slight breeze and listening to the waves being pulled towards the shore then released back to the ocean. It was a sound I hadn’t listened to in a long time. We don’t get to the beach much in winter even though it’s less than a mile from our house.
As I stood looking out at the light glittering on the water I could feel myself remembering. My senses were opening up, my body relaxing, and my mind slowing down. I could feel my body begin to merge with the ocean and then I heard a voice: “oh honey, just throw yourself into the ocean and surrender“. It was Barbara Emrys my Dreaming teacher speaking. I flashed back to Encinitas when I was deep in my process of deconstruction, sitting in my dream chair for hours on end. In one particular desperate moment of confusion I had called Barbara to get a reflection. That’s when she offered that wonderful advice. I asked her if she meant literally. She said it didn’t matter if I went to the ocean and actually jumped in, more importantly was the piece about surrendering. Well I did drive right down to Moonlight beach that day years ago and threw myself into the waves and surrendered. Today I stayed out of the water (way too cold!) knowing it was the internal surrendering Barbara was truly speaking of - and that’s what I have been practicing since that day in California.
So this morning as I felt myself letting go overlooking something so vast and unknowable, I welcomed the surrendering that was happening inside of me that was as deep and as mysterious as Life itself.
Can you spare a moment to surrender right now?
In love, light, and awareness.
J
The Power of Authenticity
By Michele Laub
- Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
WISE WOMAN PROGRAMS - The Power of AuthenticityWise Woman Programs champions the essential need to /return/ balance into the world.
At the core of every being and of every action stems the authentic energies we know to be the feminine and the masculine, or in other words in—yang, or receptive—action oriented (see also - http://www.lovesedona.com/02.htm). When these energies are not in harmony, imbalance results, creating disorder, extreme behavior, separation, duality and a myriad of other low vibration behaviors. Ego-driven actions have long been overrunning the planet, whirling the dream of Heaven on Earth through a nightmare. In the rush to create more, have more, and control more, our heart-centered nature has fallen into a deep stupor. The power to awaken comes through the illuminated awareness that distorted voices are among us. Through the auto-response of safeguarding us, the mind in turn makes up stories,which cement our emotional reactions exacerbating the distortion. If we cannot trust what we hear when listening to our minds, then what can we do?We can jump-start the process by revitalizing our heart-centered nature.
This is key in awakening our cellular wisdom. This is the sole purpose behind Wise Woman Programs, to facilitate and support all participants in their quest for authenticity. I invite each of you to go forward by repeating on a daily basis the mantra below and notice what happens:
My heart beats in the rhythm of love.
Please return and share your experience!
Freedom Is Just Another Word?
By Jamie Gilroy
- Monday, April 7th, 2008
Freedom
I love this word for so many different reasons. Say the word and count how many ideas flash across our mental movie screen? These themes of freedom bring to mind so many clichés: fight for our freedom, let freedom ring, economic freedom, religious freedom. So once again I went to Wikipedia (sorry Syl) and the array of definitions, explanations, philosophies, and interpretations of this word made my eyes cross and were way too numerous to list here. For this particular blog I want to focus on the idea of personal freedom. For those of you who want to hear more about my motorcycle, sit still. I’ll get there.
How many of you really feel like you have personal freedom? If I were to ask many a reply would sound like this: “yeah I want it but this job has me tied…”, or “I wish I had it now, maybe when the kids are out of college…”, or how’s this sound “my spouse/partner won’t let me do my thing without some argument, or attitude.” Sound familiar? How about this voice: “I could never do that”, “oh freedom is a nice idea but I…”, “I wish I had the money” (substitute any other word you can think of for money). You get the picture. Freedom is an elusive, slippery concept that we find little support for both externally and internally. I like the internal part because most of you reading this blog hopefully aren’t faced with a political environment that restricts your physical freedom.
So you ask, what does internal freedom feel like? What sensations does it bring on? How does it affect the way we live? Let’s assume for a moment dear readers, that you are budding masters of you own attention and that you can slow down the internal dialogue far enough to get fairly present with what’s going on in front of you, i.e. your immediate life experience. This is the cornerstone of internal freedom - slowing things down enough to begin to see the spaces between thoughts, to see the brief moment we all have to choose between automatically reacting to life and responding with awareness to life. With that foundation of responding to life in place we can begin to build on the feeling that begins to infuse our body. I liken it to being on two wheels.
Since I was about Bodhi’s age I’ve been drawn to wheeled objects - tricycles, mini bikes, dirt bikes, mountain bikes, road bikes, motorcycles, and eventually even faster motorcycles. The thing I love is the sensation I get from being balanced, totally focused (the penalty is harsh for not paying attention), and completely in the moment. There is nothing else that I do that gives me the same feeling (well maybe one other thing). I remember my Tibetan guru telling me I was wasting my time racing mountain bikes back in the late 1980’s. He thought as a seeker and grown man I was better off sitting on my mediation cushion than sitting on my bike seat. I tried to explain to him that I was in a state of bliss and expansion when I rode - that place of non-conception that the Buddhists strive for. He never got that. It is an experience that I got more of on the seat of a bicycle or motorcycle than on a lovely cushion in front of an altar. Not that I didn’t have some wonderful insights on that cushion, it’s just the overwhelming feeling from riding was somehow more impact-full. My mind, body, and two wheeled friend were one unit in perfect harmony. My mind was processing the terrain in front of me. I wasn’t reminiscing about the past or projecting into the future - just totally present. Isn’t that the goal? Speaking of impact, maybe my guru in his infinite wisdom and with all his admonitions not to ride knew something I didn’t; that one day I would ride myself off a 35 foot cliff on my mountain bike. That however is another story for another blog (Near Death Experiences - hummm).
So the feelings I experienced when riding were similar to an experience I had years ago when I first met don Miguel Ruiz. An invitation was made by Miguel to those in attendance at the seminar he was teaching. What if we were totally free to live our lives however we decided? Not how society, or our family, or our friends, or our mind or program decided. But truly how we decided in every moment. What if we lived in a state of complete Love? During this seminar it was as if someone distilled the feelings I got from being on two wheels and put them in my feet and then that sensation spread from my feet throughout the rest of my body. For one whole day I was transformed, seeing and feeling like I had never before. It was a brief experience but one that totally shifted my point of view. From that time on I have been perfecting the art of being free. The feelings in me that freedom supports are: love, acceptance, balance, kindness, lightheartedness, humor and openness. The sensations that freedom brings on are: warm, calm, light, tingly, and a humming vibration. I finally made this connection without being on two wheels. So don’t everybody run out and buy a bicycle or motorcycle, ok?
So what’s the result? How does all that play out in our daily lives? What’s the payoff for this personal freedom thing? For me it has resulted in being in the relationship of my dreams, having two sons I adore, being successful at whatever I choose to focus on, not believing my old story lines that limit me as an expression of life, being more present in each moment, and feeling so good inside simply as an expression of my personal freedom.
Oh yeah, and riding that new motorcycle when I choose to experience the visceral outward form of what I’m feeling inside. A beautiful thing being human isn’t it? We get the opportunity to have a pas-de-deux between mind and body, with Life providing the background music.
See ya out there on the road.
In Love, Light, and Awareness,
J
The Opposite of Crisis is Called Mental Development
By Jamie Gilroy
- Friday, April 4th, 2008
“the opposite of crisis is called mental development (development of consciousness).”
(found on Google searching for the opposite of the word “crisis”)
This morning I woke up thinking about the phrase “midlife crisis”. Why is it that when we turn a certain age and then we do something deemed impulsive and “out of character” it’s assumed that “he’s just having a midlife crisis.”
You see I just turned 50 years old. Or maybe I just turned 50 years young. Depends on your point of view. I also just purchased a motorcycle. Definitely impulsive and irrational to the uninformed observer even though I’ve been riding motorcycles since I was 12 (smaller versions since I was 2) and have been dreaming of owning one again since my last motorcycle that I sold to pay for my son Nick’s mid-wife. That was 1990.
Wikipedia has a wonderful wealth of information about mid life crisis’s. “Midlife crisis is a term used to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is typically felt in the “middle years” of life, as people sense the passing of youth and the imminence of old age.” Also: “The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day to day life or situation, such as in career, marriage, or romantic relationships.”
What if in fact it wasn’t a crisis at all this passage of time called getting older? What if it was a celebration? What if we actually enjoyed the awareness that comes with the natural aging process? What if instead of searching for our “lost youth” we actually embraced this beautiful phase of our life? I see this process at play all around me - in nature mostly, but also often in the “older” generation I come in contact with. The inherent beauty in Life is what I’m talking about. It’s a process this birth to death journey and I’m seeing the magic in each phase. It’s in my 11 month old son Bodhi learning so many new things for the first time. It’s in my 82 year old mother so filled with an ageless joy as she plays with her newest grandchild. It’s in me as I cross the 50 yard line of my life full of gratitude for all that I have experienced so far.
Again from Wikipedia: “Researchers have found that midlife is often a time for reflection and reassessment, but this is not always accompanied by the psychological upheaval popularly associated with “midlife crisis”.
What if instead of finding oneself in crisis it was actually a time for a shift in consciousness? What if we had this great explosion of awareness as we see the organic process of being born, aging and then returning to the infinite from where we originated? What if in each moment we embraced the idea that life isn’t measured in days or months or years? What if we acknowledged that time is something we humans invented and that there is another way to mark the transit of one’s life?
What if by being present in each moment we were no longer bound by the concept of time? What if we made choices based in our awareness that what is happening to us is as natural as the changing of the seasons? What if those choices were made from that place of wonder and innocence of really knowing we are a mystery exactly like life and age is really just ageless.
Ok back to the motorcycle thing. I wanted to celebrate my living on this planet for 50 years. In a very small symbolic way the motorcycle represents a milestone and a simple way for me to express joy and freedom. Besides it’s pretty sexy too…
Freedom, huh? That’s my next blog. Until then keep the rubber side down.
In Love, Light, and Awareness,
J
What Choice Now
By Rita Rivera Fox
- Thursday, April 3rd, 2008
The energy you are receiving as you move through the process of manifesting your heart’s desire and creating your new dream is occurring on every level of matter from the cells of your bodies to the mantel of the earth and beyond. At this time this energy is being felt very deeply and vibrating and fluctuating in ways that are certainly getting your attention. This movement is asking you to stay so focused in your bodies and the sensations that are moving through them. It is with these movements that you are creating the energy that is revealing your integrity at deeper and deeper levels. In other words, the more you are willing to feel, the more you will be accessing the energy that is all about breaking down old ways of seeing and doing things and the quicker you are able to correct your alignment to the abundance that is the flow of Life moving through you. Remember it will take you being able to hold higher and higher feeling and energy levels in your body to bring about the transformation inherent in new dreams in both the individual Dream and the collective.This is what we are really in service to, is the bringing of heaven into an experience in matter. This means that no matter how you perceive what is going on with what you are birthing into being, it is important to challenge any familiar perceptions that create fear or self doubt in your body sensation. Become aware of how you are feeling so that peace and pleasure are what you are ultimately creating in your body. Every other sensation that causes discomfort is just an indicator that there are still beliefs and programming that you are now being asked to let go of. The more choices you make on a consistent basis to challenge your programmed beliefs, the more you are causing a deep disturbance within. From this disturbance is the created the movement for old structures to pass through you to be released. This is what must occur in order to enjoy the new energies that your body is being prepped for. Empty the old so the new can root and flourish. The opportunities to choose what you will believe and consequently bringing into manifestation, are everywhere and the consequences are being lived in the moment.
One choice that can be helpful these days as you go about the act of creating new dreams, is to choose “not knowing” which is simply trusting and putting your faith in the energy and emotional quality of what you want to create rather than relying on an explanation from your old programmed mind. Can you choose again to believe in what is not yet in form and keep investing your love for your vision of your self? Part of not needing to know is the willingness to challenge what you think it will all look like, what you will be like in the transformed version of you. As all humanity is now being given the power to re- design the mind of the future, can you continue to take action and place your intention in what is being birthed through you without worrying about the outcome. It is in each moment that we are creating the new dream, the new interpretation, the new transformed version of you by staying aligned with the energy of peace, pleasure and love and those sensations created in the body.
Have you noticed that it seems that when you are experiencing what you don’t want in life and the emotions that are the results, is when you get to really align with what you do want and the feeling quality of that? This is how we are learning and shifting the energy of our experiences, and empowering our ability to choose. So when you choose something that you see later because of the consequences that you don’t want to manifest, choose again with all the power of your heart’s desire because it just wants to create more of itself and is waiting for the green light. Waste no time in judging the former choice, just see that your awareness has improved and the time is now to act in a different way. As you make new choices, and empower the choice with action, and complete confidence, it becomes more possible for more humans to do the same.
Beliefs are what we are actively transforming with these new choices and along with that the present and future of humanity. This is why in actuality your process is not personal at all, and with your awareness you are contributing to the transformation of an old programmed belief system and bringing us all into the potential to dream a New Dream. This is simply humanity in the process of evolving. Isn’t it exciting?
Life is quite fascinating when you remember that you are Dreaming all the time and make your choice from that awareness. Faith is having its way with us. Enjoy the ride!
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